Last week, my wife and I hung out with two sets of friend’s on two consecutive days. On the first day we went out for dinner and drinks with friends that were on their way out of town. We talked about books and writing and the marijuana business, we made jokes, and we talked about serious issues. Then we continued to drink, acted silly, and went our separate ways. The second day we went out for dinner and drinks with friends who had just gotten back into town. We talked about music and writing and the marijuana business, we made jokes, and we talked about serious issues. After, we continued to drink, acted silly and then went our separate ways. These two pairs of friends have a lot in common and have even hung out all together and had good times. However, there is a big difference between the two couples. One of the couples can walk down the street holding hands and kissing without a care in the world. The other couple also walks down main streets holding hands and kissing, but are always on the defensive. The first couple can decide one day to express their love through marriage; they can go anywhere they want and have damn near anyone perform the ceremony and chances are none of their guests will object. The second couple can also decide to express their love through marriage, but they would need to find a state that allows them to make this expression, find someone with an open mind to perform the ceremony, and will have to think carefully about who to invite. All four of these people have heads and eyes and hearts, they all speak the same language, all have similar degrees of education, similar backgrounds, and enjoy many of the same things. I don’t think I need to say what the big difference is between these couple, nor why I am writing about it. It is great that a judge ruled Prop 8 unconstitutional, but it isn’t great that it even had to come to that. It sucks that a judge had to decide that people have the right to love each other. It sucks that this is only a small victory, that there are still many more stages to go through that can result in another reversal. It sucks that we are so small minded as a society that human beings have to fight tooth and nail for decades just to achieve basic human rights.
Obviously we fight because others are against certain people being able to enjoy what they – mostly white, Christian men – have enjoyed since birth. What makes people so angry when they see two men walking down a street holding hands or two women professing their undying love for each other? Most of it comes because the hater is insecure; whether that is questioning their sexuality, not feeling satisfied with what they’re doing in life, or one of a million other things. Most of these insecurities are formed when these eventually hateful people are happy, loving, accepting children. The vast majority of these accepting children are turned into violent adults by parents and other family members. Who can combat these hateful teachings that pass on insanity from generation to generation? Teachers! That’s who. So, why do we spend fractions of percentages on schools and teachers than we do on wars and destruction? Well, if we have 100 children who grow up to be hateful, materialistic, ignorant adults war is easy to continue (whether that be the war in Iraq, the war on drugs, or war on anyone who is different), which means the buckets of money for war profiteers keeps flowing. If these potentially hateful adults are shown the right books and given nothing but love, they will begin to question things like war, poverty, hunger, and inequality- and we can’t have that.
It’s great that there are millions of activists trying to overturn Prop 8, destroy borders, and end the War on Drugs, but we need to get to the root of these problems and take care of shit there. That said, go out and celebrate this historic ruling!